Punched in the face for forty cents
Where have I been?
It's been a while. Five- no.. six months since my last contact, and we’ve passed nine whole months on the mission. Can you believe we're nearly half way through this adventure?! I suppose an update is due, huh?
Life as a missionary has completely torn me apart, psychologically and in some ways physically (hence the title, eek). I think that’s part of the reason I haven’t written in so long— it’s emotionally exhausting, and there’s not a lot left in me at the end of each day. Each transfer (6 weeks), I've gone through a completely new challenge and learned a brand new life lesson, coping mechanism or language in return. Let’s recap what’s happened since the MTC:
Transfer 1: Florida
This chapter of my adventure was covered in the last entry, but suffice it to say, my reassignment in florida was just about every single fear I had about serving a mission, realized (and overcome).
Perspective was gained, and grace was received in the form of my VISA arriving in record time for an American assigned to Angola.
Transfer 2: Angola
If you don’t know how the mission’s organized, every missionary is interviewed by the Mission President and paired up with another missionary. Then, the two are assigned their very own area, where it’s their responsibility to care for every home and person within said area, serving, enlightening and loving them. In the Angola Luanda Mission, there's one particular area which has a reputation for being incredibly hot— hotter than any other area in the country— and as a fun little cherry on top, the home has no water (and yes, that includes the toilet). This area is called Zango; people pray to avoid Zango. Naturally, I was assigned to Zango. I fell in love with it instantly.
As it turns out, bucket showers are fun, and bread with mayonnaise for dinner is delicious (but vomiting on top of your own diarrhea into a dry toilet bowl for hours because you ate street meat is not fun. No matter how fun it probably sounds).
Some other fun stuff that’s happened:
Being punched smack-dab in the eyeball because my companion denied a drunk on the street when he, quite aggressively, asked for the equivalent of forty American cents (as if it was my fault?!?).
Witnessing the roasting of an entire monkey, fur and all, legs and tail sticking straight out, all rigor-mortis-style, by a plump old lady with an actual flame thrower.
Exploring neighborhoods in which no missionary has ever stepped foot before (let alone a white man— although here, everyone thinks I’m Chinese).
Having the incredible privilege of being a small part of a few lives changed, for the better, forever.
One of the metrics by which we measure “lives changed” here on the mission is by baptisms. Baptism is a beautiful thing, it's a symbolic death and rebirth. A demonstration of commitment to a new start, a new life, committed to elevated values and good intentions. Many cultures/religions throughout the history of the world have their own version of this. In Christianity, a person is submerged underwater, impure, and rises from the water, clean. Electively having washed away any wrong doings or habits of the past and having promised that they are now prepared to live a life lead by Love, and receive the gift of the Holy Spirit to help them do so. Once received, the Holy Spirit will be a connection between them and God, a source of comfort in all moments, a guide in all decisions, and help make known the truth of all things.
However, it only works if you believe it will. The life changing power of baptism isn't in the water. Infact, baptism itself does literally nothing. The rebirth, that new life with the enhanced ability to feel the guidance of God, comes when we are completely willing to hand ourselves over to Him, to Love. Baptism is simply an opportunity to demonstrate that willingness, and I think that's just so beautiful.
This process is the tool I have access to, so I'm using it. Do I believe it's the only way? Honestly… No, I don’t. But it’s how I can help people where they’re at, from where I am. If they have faith that it’ll help, generally speaking, it does. It does bring comfort, it does give them a new means of receiving guidance from a higher, divine source, and it does help them discern truth (as profoundly as circumstances and said belief system permits). We “overcome the flesh” and realign ourselves with Love, with God, and that's all that really matters in the end. It works.
Christianity isn't for everyone. I came on my mission having promised myself I wouldn't teach anyone who didn't sincerely want it. As it turns out, that's harder than I thought. Here in Angola, nearly every single person is some type of Christian, and anyone can be convinced that they should join this church (or any other for that matter) the real struggle is helping people genuinely convert.
I have to admit, when I arrived I was a little grossed out by the amount of baptisms that took place, without true conversion. “What's the point?” I thought. To so many new members, this was just one of many churches. Albeit, one with many more resources available than the average. Here, the LDS church offers English classes and auto-sufficiency courses, it even pays for the continued education of the graduates of said courses, and more. Opportunities that are utterly life changing, especially here. But those things are free to the community, not just members, so what's the point of baptizing if it's not doing anything?
Learning a new language and getting to know a new culture, is fun and all, but I felt so low that first transfer in Zango. Was I really making a difference? Or was I wasting my time?
Transfer 3:
I received a new companion in transfer 3, an American. I was worried, worried this transfer would be like my state-side mission, and worried I wouldn't learn portuguese as well with him as with my last companion, who spoke natively. I was right about the language part, we barely spoke any portuguese that entire six weeks, but this transfer was nothing like my state-side mission.
This companion taught me a lot about missionary work. He is an incredible example of someone for whom the paradigm of Christianity to connect with God works extremely well. He was kind, thoughtful, faithful, funny, and a very hard worker. Through this belief system he developed those attributes and through this belief system those attributes have been strengthened in him and changed the lives of other people. He taught me how to teach in a way that helped people truly understand what it was they were learning, why it was important to them, and what they were getting themselves into when they committed to this church. The trick? Questions.
I learned to use relevant, thoughtful questions to help our friends make decisions for themselves. Lessons turned into mini undercover therapy sessions where we simply helped the person in front of us reflect, and make decisions based on their own desires. If we happened to have a tool for them, we offered it, but they didn't have to accept it, we just wanted them to be happy, whether or not it was in this way. We saw incredible results working like this, we were finding the people who genuinely wanted and would benefit from this thing we had to offer, and lovingly gave it to them. It was a blissful, exhausting 6 weeks.
About ten days before the end of the transfer, I had a moment with the universe. She gave me a gentle heads up that I needed to learn as much as a could while I was with that companion because things would be changing. It was made clear to me that soon I'd find myself in new circumstances, “A new begining,” I heard, “this next chapter will be full of oportunity, harmony and growth. You’ll need to make space for other people's ideas.” Talk about weirdly specific yet cryptic.
Normally, we stay in one area for about 6 months, I’d only had 3 in Zango, but 10 days later I was transferred away. I felt cheated, I didnt want to leave, I’d created such deep relationships, I had so many plans for the area, I’d finally memorized the labrynth of neighborhoods! I was incredibly sad, but prepared, I’d known it was coming before the mission president had even decided. I packed, reluctantly, and trusted that what I'd been told 10 days earlier would be true, that this was for my best.
Transfer 4: New beginnings
Transfer 4 was… hard.
Your companion sure has a huge effect on your experience and success as a missionary. I came off an emotional high from the synergy and success in Zango, and landed with a companion with whom, without sharing anything too personal, was in need of some good ol’ tender love and care.
In the process I learned a lot about patience and perspective. Every moment of everyday was one long walking-meditation. I also learned much about my own ego, the role it plays in my decision making, and how to step out of myself to make loving decisions, even in difficult situations. It was an expensive lesson, it cost in lot in terms of emotional energy over those six weeks… a lot. But I’m grateful. He changed my life and I hope I was an influence for good in his.
I was also given a new responsibility, one which I was uniquely qualified for, given my work experience before coming here. I spent 6 weeks working and reworking the social media ads to find people who are genuinely interested. And it worked.
Transfer 5:
Transfer 5, was easier. Way easier.
I’ve started to see the results of this new ad system, it’s incredible. We make calls to people who are excited to hear from us (saying they’ve literally had dreams about this moment ever since the ad), then leave the house to teach people who specifically requested that we visit them. I haven’t even knocked a door in weeks.
Plus, I’ve got a new companion and we work great together. He and I are in the beta phase of this new ads system, creating various methods of contacting/teaching these new friends and preparing to teach the rest of the missionaries in the country what works best with this new demographic.
The people we’re finding through these new ads are in hard to reach places— apartment buildings, guarded neighborhoods, etc. But it’s in these areas that we find the future leaders of the church. These are people with education, and businesses, who bring opportunities to the other members and have the means to volunteer their personal time to serve the community without putting themselves or their families in real, physical danger.
It’s overwhelming sometimes, being here. I’ve seen things and heard stories that the details of which, I may never feel comfortable recounting. Riots, starvation… bodies.
I’m overwhelmed by gratitude for the life I’ve been given, that each of us reading this has been given. I’m overwhelmed with a desire to do what I can, in my unique position, to help. And so, I’m giving everything I have in me, every day, to be someone who has a positive influence in the world. I’m choosing, and re-choosing, every hour to show up and be the best I’m capable of in that moment. Sometimes I mess up. Many times I’ve realized what I could have done better, too late. Other times, I manage to have a hand in something positive. Each experience is making me more grateful, more understanding, more curious, and more motivated to do more.
Until next time,
Raleigh
Wow wow wow! Profound. Beautiful. Your love and light shines through in this message. Learning so much from you. Miss you and love you so much. The progression from one transfer to the next is incredible. So so so proud of you! You inspire me and so many. You’re amazing! What wonderful people you have the opportunity to be with. Grateful. Love you!
I wish I could have had you as a companion 🤙🏼 Keep it up