Onions…

In which I comment on meeting not-so-compassionate people with compassion.

Hey friends!

Being at the MTC is like living in a G-Rated version of Lord of the Flies. Within three days we had discovered geocaches in the vents containing candy, contraband, and notes from earlier generations of missionaries and were introduced to strange initiation rituals involving Greco-Roman-esque warrior helmets crafted of recycled Mountain Dew boxes and scotch tape. Nobody knows when the tradition began or who created it, but it is local only to our dorm floor. When the day comes, we will also pass on the tradition. I can only imagine how many more sub-cultures and secrets exist here that no one outside this bubble will ever hear of. People are incredible.

Ceremonial garb.

Our days are spent getting snowed on whilst walking between meals and Portuguese classes, and our nights by nerf wars, card games, and taping shut the entrance to the shower-room to create a sauna.

I do not think it would be embellishment to say the Provo MTC is probably the most diverse place in Utah. Here, languages, races and cultures of all kinds mesh, and despite many differences, young men and women of all kinds of unique backgrounds unite in a common purpose— to love and to serve their fellow citizens of earth. This is a place where young people devote 110% of their time and energy to confronting the parts of themselves that are hurtful to themselves or others, and step up and begin to do the work it takes to heal their inner wounds. Not only for their own benefit either, but so that they can go out into the larger world and help others in the best way they believe they can.

The purpose of the Missionary Training Center is right there in the name. Volunteer missionaries come here for 2-9 weeks to prepare to go out and serve. This includes spiritual/emotional preparation through devotionals, discussions, a whole lot of personal and partner study time and more. Depending on where they’re called, for many missionaries this preparation also includes learning almost any language imaginable, from Tongan to Mandarin to French to Sign language.

The MTC sits at the base of a beautiful mountain range.

Throughout this process I have grown a lot of appreciation for this environment. This is a place where men are validated in their tears. A place where people are celebrated for bravely and openly expressing deeply emotional thoughts and feelings. A place where compliments and affirmations from strangers are commonplace. A place where people pour out their hearts and souls to near-strangers, sharing the ways they are learning to become a kinder, gentler, and stronger member of our human family.

In this environment I have continued to develop some abilities we all have access to. Call it the Holy Spirit, call it intuition, call it whatever you want, but I have had opportunities to share words that absolutely were not mine. As I have turned my intent towards love, love has turned its trust towards me. When my mind and spirit are at their most united, I know things I shouldn’t know, I say things I shouldn’t know to say, I speak words I hadn’t ever planned on speaking, and it has lead me incredible places.

The little Jiminy Cricket that’s made a nest on my shoulder whispers words into my ear, I speak them not knowing why, and three hours later I’m holding grown a** man as he cries in my arms (joyful tears, I promise). We all have access to this. Our physical minds may not know what’s going on in the life of the stranger sitting across from us, but the part of us that is consciousness, the part of us that humanity has named the ‘spirit’, exists beyond physical restriction, and it knows exactly what is behind another man’s eyes.

At least, that’s the metaphor I’ve come up with to understand this thing so impossible for a human to understand. You choose how you want to see the universe for yourself. Please, don’t allow anyone else to tell you what it is you should believe. I’m certain I’m wrong in a million ways, but it works for me, so is it really incorrect? As Miguel Ruiz teaches, “Listen, but be skeptical.” You don’t want to miss out on something that may really benefit you, so listen to the metaphors others present you with, allow your spirit to discern what is for you and what is not, and give yourself the gift of peace by allowing other people to use whatever metaphor they’ve learned to use.

I have found that my mind and spirit are most in tune when I embody a few specific characteristics… Namely:

Humility… I am no more or less than any other living or non living thing. We are all in this together. Your growth is my growth and my successes are yours. We are one, we are a team.

Forgiveness… Nothing is personal. Nothing. No matter how personal somethings may feel, everything is an attempt to feel loved, to connect a body and a spirit, however misguided someone’s attempts may be. When this is the perspective I use to see others and to see my very own thoughts, I’m walkin’ on sunshine! Nothing can reach me! It becomes so easy to love others, and to love myself.

Love… Love, to me, is the thing we given the name “God” and so many other names. There are infinite sub-genres, imagined up by an infinite amount of theologies, to describe what it means to be one with your spirit. The word “love” is the best I’ve found to encapsulate them all.

When I embody these, my body becomes a receptacle for inspiration and a conduit for Love (the capital L is intentional) to reach the hearts and minds carrying spirit of others, as divine as my own. I don’t always know why I’m saying or doing what I am. In fact, I’m usually completely in the dark until after I have done as I have been prompted. This is where “faith”comes in. Faith, for me, is trust in this unseen thing, trust that it has only the best interest of others and myself at heart, and acting on it.

Life at the MTC has been good. I could have spent my whole two years there and been so fulfilled. But it is as simple as visiting a physical place to bring this light into our lives, and there are definitely some misguided attempts to be loved present at the MTC as well, just like there are anywhere the world…

For all the incredible things and people that can be found at the MTC, the MTC (and often the broader Christian population as well) can also be a place where not an eye seems to be bat at casual misogyny, where homophobic and racial slurs go uncorrected, and a place where political conservatism is for some reason closely entangled with and held with the same level of reverence as faith.

It’s odd to see how both progressive and recessive qualities can coexist within the same mind. But what can I say? People have layers I guess. Hence, this entry’s title.

While these hateful instances are infrequent, they are still far too frequent to ignore. Within any community whose professed intentions are to embody Christlike love and kindness, behavior like this should not be tolerated, period. Under any circumstances.

Jesus (H.) Christ himself is said to have taught:

“This is my commandment, That ye love one another as I have loved you”

Jesus Christ… The Man, The Myth, The Legend. I do believe all three of those titles describe him nearly completely, with one addition of personal preference, Shepherd.

Jesus has been given so many titles over the generations, but I really love to think of him as a shepherd, guiding a flock from here to there, providing them with what they need to grow to be spiritually strong and healthy.

Through my spirit and my study, I have come to know Jesus intimately. As loco as it may sound, I know him personally, I know what it feels like to be held by him, I know his values, his intentions, or at least the part of me that is spirit does.

Christs love knew absolutely no boundaries. When we strip all the aforementioned myths and legends away, we are left with a man. A man who simply wanted to lead others to safety, to belonging, to joy… their own personal heaven. In this most simple and beautiful way, Christ is one of many shepherds, guiding one of many flocks to safety and peace.

This reminds me of a song my Mom played often when I was young. It has uplifted and inspired me so much lately:

“Oh Jesus I love you

And I love Buddha too

Ramakrishna, Guru Dev

Tao Te Ching and Mohammed

Why do some people say

That there is just one way

To love You, God, and come to You?

We are all a part of You.”

-Mason Jennings, “I Love You (And Buddha Too)”

Music is an incredibly important part of my life. I literally loaded up nearly three-thousand purposefully and individually selected, songs onto an MP3 player before leaving on my mission. I listen to music while I read, while I eat, and while I write. Today, exactly as I was writing about the not-so-loving-ness I’ve observed within LDS/Christian culture, a song called “You’ve Got to Be Carefully Taught” played. I didn’t even know I had added this song to my MP3. I’ve literally never heard it in my entire life until right now.

Here is an excerpt:

“You've got to be taught
To hate and fear,
You've got to be taught
From year to year,
It's got to be drummed
In your dear little ear
You've got to be carefully taught.”

-Lyricism by Oscar Hammerstein II. (I listened to the James Taylor cover).

In preparation to write, I begin with sincere meditation and prayer. Reaching out with love and the intention to be guided to approach these entries in a way that is kind, congruent with my personal beliefs, and will hopefully help someone. Or at the very least, help me.

I believe that today, my spirit brought this specific lyric to me to help us meet some of the not-so-compassionate parts of mainstream Christianity with compassion. These words are just so perfectly relevant to today’s conversation. It was like a direct, divinely timed response. It’s almost as if prayer, manifestation, the law of attraction, or whatever other metaphor you might use, may actually be rooted in some amount of reality! Or… maybe it was a total coincidence, and I’m reading way too far into it. You choose. What ever floats your boat. :)

The point is, nobody is born a racist, homophobic, or a misogynist. Why do you think Jesus taught his followers to be like a little child? A child has no concept of the things humans have arbitrarily deemed “good” and “bad.” A child is unanimously loving, no matter who and no matter what. It’s not their fault these things have been “carefully taught, from year to year,” for thousands of years.

Anything we believe that does not allow us to live a life of childlike love and wonder is not our fault, so have compassion on yourself and have compassion on others. It is now our own responsibility to unlearn these things and relearn to once again love unconditionally, to live from present moment to present moment, to be endearingly humble, and to become free and “…be like a child, but with a difference…. with wisdom rather than innocence.” As Miguel Ruiz, the author of The Four Agreements, says. Love that guy, check him out. When we live and love as emulated by the examples of children, we truly do have peace in our hearts. The kind of peace and love that can trickle out and change the world.

I know it feels overwhelmingly hopeless to some of you. Sometimes it does for me too. I flew out of state this weekend to go to the Angolan Consulate, and during my travels I felt eyes on me, and the tag on my shirt. I felt the disgust from some, the assumption that I’m another Christian out here peddling propaganda and lies. To be honest, some mornings I put this tag on and I am disgusted, I am ashamed, and I’m afraid of what some people associate it with, because I know those assumptions aren’t an accurate reflection of who I am.

It can be incredibly hard to let go of what people think I represent by wearing this badge, but I feel deeply that by being here I am making a real difference. One with the potential to create a massive ripple effect across the mission field and LDS church. I have had many opportunities to have intimate conversations with some of the missionaries in the MTC with me. Many more opportunities than I expected to be honest. I have had multiple instances where I’ve just been going about my business and my spirit says, “Talk to that guy, now.” And I think “I really just want to brush my teeth and go to sleep.” It says, “Now.” And I say, “Fine, tell me what to say.” The next thing you know, I’m up hours past curfew, having an incredible conversation with someone I never would have assumed to be the kind of person to have the capacity to approach faith the way they were demonstrating.

There are many more people than we may think who are willing and capable of adjusting their perspective to one with a broader bandwidth for Love and growth. We just need to be willing to boldly and lovingly be an example of Love. Even and especially when it is most difficult. It’s worth it.

I recently had another missionary make an incredibly insensitive comment about my late brother. The details of this conversation are not necessary, but I’ll tell you this. I mustered every ounce of kindness I could and I looked him in the eye and I told him I can understand how he might feel that way, and so I forgive him. Then I set a clear yet kind boundary around his actions, and at the end, I told him I loved him. I told him I loved him and I told him I meant it. He was speechless. I could have been furious. I was furious. I had every right to be, but I chose to respond with radical kindness. That night, I went to bed with a smile on my face rather than contention in my heart. Who knows? Maybe the example rubbed off on him!

When someone comes across a metaphor that aligns with what they have learned about the world, and helps them come a little bit closer to Love (the capital L is still not a mistake), they will resonate. One unlearned lie and relearned truth at a time, we can come back to childlike Love. So, be an example, “Be the change you want to see in the world,” right? That’s what Christ did.

Have humility and love for others. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we all are just looking for Love, no matter how misguided those attempts may seem. It’s all Love, even the things that feel like hate, it’s all in attempt to love or to be loved in one way or another. When I remember this, it makes it easier to have compassion and peace.

My pride pin alongside Jesus’s name, just as I believe the big man would’ve had it. The pin reads (I’ll walk with you)

If your spirit, your conscience, or your common sense says there’s something horribly wrong with the narrative Christianity and honestly the broader human race has perpetuated for centuries, you’re not alone. Even though sometimes it can feel really lonely. I promise you’re not alone.

I’d love to introduce you to a new friend, someone I really think you’re going to like. Someone who makes me feel not so alone:

A dear friend.

I feel incredibly privileged that my first portrait of the mission gets to be of my new friend, Kingsley. “Elder” Opoku and I have known each other for just 2 weeks and I would die for this man. Like I really, actually would.

King radiates loving kindness, nobody is immune to the joy he brings by simply walking into a room. He is deeply in tune with his spirit. I’ve seen him instinctively turn to another person and just drop the kindest, most specific truth bomb, such personal words that he could not have known to say these things or just how impactful they would be to the recipient. He lives by the spirit to know truth and to know how, who, and when to serve others with it.

This same alignment with the greater powers in this world has allowed him to comfortably discern and separate the man-made fallacies from the valuable lessons that can be learned from various shepherds.

It is my dream to be able to offer a simple smile at the difficulties of life the way he does. Kingsley knows how hard it is to love like Christ did, and he continues to do it anyway. He’s shown me that I’m not alone here on the mission, even when it feels so lonely. He is a light. He is an inspiration.

Elder Opoku has some words he’d like to share with you all:

My name is Kingsley Opoku, but I am currently “Elder” Opoku, as I am serving as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Similar to Elder Norton, I am here with an open and clear spirit and heart when it comes to the Love of God.

I do my best to be free from the Mormon cultural experience. By that I mean I really put first what I do know and understand about God and His character and the foundation... which is His love.

For me Love is the only thing that matters and I live according to that. I try to fill my life with love in everything I do. This means I am only concerned with Love being present when I meet people.

I don't care about what people do or believe, the ultimate goal in life is for me to feel Love for all things and all people.

In my opinion, this world needs a deeper understanding of the Love which connects everything and everybody, regardless beliefs or mindset.

There are many kinds of power that we use and that we are effected by in this world. For example, the power of obedience, the power of trust, the power of structure, the power of our words, the power of knowledge... But I know that Love is the highest power on this earth and in heaven.

I want you to know that God's Love and mercy are for free, and that you can't and you don't have to earn it. Whoever tells you you are unworthy of Love lacks Love himself. Whoever tells you that you are wrong for being you is not yet ready to open his heart and love others or himself.

I love you people, and I will until I die.

The lovely, Kingsley Opoku.

Love wins. My mom hung those words on our wall when I was younger. The phrase has come to mind a lot lately. Despite a whole lot of people who make it realllly difficult to love ‘em, I have done everything in my power to choose to love others. This decision to put Love first, has lead me to some really incredible, transformative opportunities, and it has increased my capacity for inner peace in every circumstance. I want that for you too, choose Love. It always wins. <3

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P.S.

Here’s those two songs from my personal hymn book: