And so it begins...
The first entry of my two year journey through Angola Africa.
Hey everyone!
Thank you all for caring enough about me to join my email list, I love you guys! This is where I’m going to occasionally share stories about my adventures, thoughts and feelings I’m exploring along the way, and photos.
On Monday I said goodbye to all my friends and family to serve an LDS church mission. It was hard, hugs were shared, tears were shed. But i made some of the raddest friends ever on the flight, and they’re here in this group too! Shout out to Weezy and Quan!!
I’ll be living in Angola Africa for two years, learning+speaking Portuguese, doing lots of service projects, and… the part that I am most apprehensive about… teaching people about the LDS gospel, if/when they’re interested.
(Right hand is home, Hawaii. Left is Angola. Photo credit: My Pop-Pop!)
I just finished my first two weeks of MTC (missionary training center) online and now today I’m headed into the in-person MTC for the next month where we will drill the language while we wait for our visa’s. Everyone in my training district is rad, I have so much respect for their sacrifice of time to selflessly serve others and the leaps they are taking towards their spiritual health.
(My Portuguese speaking district, district 04-C… Screenshot credit: Me. Sat. Jan. 21, 5:55pm)
I’ve had some time these last two weeks to prepare myself and set intentions for the mission. And so, I want to start my first email by sharing some of those intentions and the context behind them.
I want to be the best version of myself I can be. I am the one who gets to define what that means for me, not you (although I do appreciate and value your opinion), certainly not the church organization I’m getting involved with, not anyone but me and my spirit. As I’m learning to trust, love, and follow my intuition, I have had to confront and re-negotiate my relationship to some of the beliefs I held/hadn’t yet become relevant enough to question. Sometimes, I may find myself guided towards a certain perspective that some of you wonderful people might disagree with, while simultaneously it might resonate deeply with another equally wonderful reader. Both of these are okay to feel, I’m happy you even care enough to feel anything. There are incredible human beings from all walks of life in this thread and I love and appreciate all of your perspectives equal to my own. I know how important things of a spiritual nature are to so many of us and I’d like to be clear that sometimes I may frustrate you, and other times I may make you ridiculously proud. Ultimately though, I am not responsible for either of those feelings, and I trust you to follow love, and I hope you extend that same trust and respect to me and everyone in your life. Thank you :)
It is tempting to omit personal feelings and findings that aren’t in alignment with mainstream LDS theology, especially since I am now officially a missionary for the LDS church. It feels safer to just make an email for only Latter Day Saints (Mormons aka LDS members) and just lean into that language, it also feels equally safe to exclude all the LDS members from this thread and just evaluate and reflect on all the things I love and don’t love so much about this religious organization and what it’s like being a missionary affiliated with them. The third option though, the more difficult, scary, and honest approach is to learn to navigate both at once. So, although I am nervous, I feel inclined to let go of any pride —which is only doing its best to protect me by hiding me from one group or the other— and instead grow by being completely transparent and true. Starting now. Email one. Day… 16. Ha.
I’ve spent the last two years diving deep into preparation for these next two years of my life. It’s been an incredibly complicated process full of prayer, meditation, therapy, study of scripture, study of the historical context of scripture, study of other faiths, anger, tears, joy, depression, breakthroughs, backslides and ultimately empowerment and even deeper spiritual alignment. It’s really been 2 steps forward 1 step back, as is life. I’ve deconstructed much of the institutional forms, the dogmatism, the pseudoscience, and the patriarchal authoritarianism present within the church, and re-constructed my relationship with those things in a way that to me feels most in tune with love, respect, kindness, and humility. However, there will always be more to learn and to unlearn and to relearn and ultimately, more to let go of, and more ways to learn to love.
The Buddha said many times,
“My teaching is like a finger pointing to the moon. Do not mistake the finger for the moon.”
And so, now that I have really taken a good long look at the finger (probably too long), and confirmed for myself where it is that I believe the finger is actually pointing, I will now learn to bask in the beauty of the moon. I want to be a walking talking testimony of what it means to live and love as Christ and the Buddha and so many others have taught. I want to be the best version of myself I can be, I want my presence alone to lift someone’s spirit, I want to forgive easily, I want to uplift others, I want to delight in both the joys and the sorrows of life, I want to love radically without allowing my pride persuade me not to, when I smile at or compliment someone I want them to feel in the icky sticky depths of their soul how much I really mean it and I want to be as happy as I possibly can be, and be available to help others become so as well, whenever they are ready.
I’m excited to take this on, and I’m scared. I don’t know how my faith will be received within this program… or by you for that matter. But I know that as long as I am developing my ability to hear and follow my spirit, I can’t go too wrong.
I love you guys, thanks for tuning in. If you want to text me you can message me on FB Messenger @RaleighNorton (screen name Rollo Norton) or you can email Rollo.Norton@missionary.org. There’s also a comment section, fancy right?! Share your thoughts for everyone to hear!
Also, if there’s anyone else you think would care to join the group, please send them my way! The more the merrier <3
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Thanks again, and please tell a few friends if you feel like it.
Beyond proud of you. Honest, open, vulnerable and fun, it’s no surprise your writing matches you! We love you!! Can’t wait for updates ❤️
Yes! So proud of you! Love you love you love you!